February 2012
0 posts
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
*10 minutes go by*
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
When I grow up, I'm going to have my first kid...
g-ginny:
timelordy-teganbreann:
...
Ellen Degeneres for President.
This happened yesterday while I was in WalMart.
Male cashier with multiple tattoos (two of them are colored in with rainbow): How are you this evening?
Me: Pretty good. Starving, obviously. How are you?
Cashier: Not bad. I can't wait to get off my shift and get home to my boyfriend.
Woman behind me: Wait, you're gay?
Cashier: Yeah. . . ?
Woman: That's a shame.
Me: Why?
Woman: He seemed like such a wonderful man, it's a shame he's gay.
Cashier: Why is it a shame?
Woman: It's wrong! It's immoral, it's dis-
Me: Excuse me, but what's it to you if he's gay?
Woman: It's offensive!
Me: But how does it affect you?
Woman: What?
Me: Where exactly does it start to make sense that it affects you? A relationship is between 2 people, not 3.
Woman: *sputters a bit, then leaves without her food*
Cashier: . . . Wow, thank you.
Me: Ignorant people are the reason I claim to be allergic to the human race.
